From the Dog's Mouth
an excerpt from Oscar's diary

Can someone please tell me about cats? I am very curious about them, and they seem to reciprocate, yet when I get near them their tail flairs out like a feather duster and they make this high pitched hissy breathing sound, which also displays their pathetically small yet sharp teeth. I can only imagine what would happen if I tried to initiate play.

In the past month no less than four cats have moved in. They are everywhere, and they must have some sort of cat communication system set up because every time I see one, another soon follows. They use this communication system regularly. It's gotten to the point where I can't go outside without seeing them. I can't take a poo without looking over my should only to find them peeking out from the underbrush. Occasionally they creep closer to me, sensing my weak moment. It's vicious, and I won't stand for it.

I'm not saying that I'm afraid of cats. The reason I ran away this morning was because I still had a lot of landmarks to pee on. And if I appeared to be nervous or jumpy it was actually because the temperature had dropped significantly overnight, and as we all know, my fur isn't sufficiently thick enough to keep me warm. Coupled with being put face to face with a species of animal I just don't understand (and before breakfast, no less), it's evident why I couldn't stay and chit chat with the local cat gang.

And this is the one thing I don't understand: why are cats allowed to roam free? Isn't it evident they are a vicious type and a menace to dogs everywhere? Beyond that, it's not fair that they walk the streets at will while I must remain at the end of a tether. Me, sweet, innocent me, who has never thought of stalking another animal this way (what? birds are animals too? and squirrels? since when?). It's an outrage. I'm tired of their mind games, and as soon as I figure out a way, those cats will be sorry they ever interrupted my business.

A Little Late for Resolutions...

When the New Year rolled around, who knows what I was doing (actually, I was probably shoveling snow off my mom's car in Colorado), but I was too busy to think about improving myself. Realistically, I knew it wasn't going to happen in coordination with the start of 2007. But now, with my thesis behind me, and what feels like a new life ahead, I am going to start a list of things to accomplish.

• Read all the books I've been ordering on Amazon but haven't had time to read yet. This should carry me through June.
• Learn French. I've already started this, but with the thesis and end-of-the-semester papers, this pursuit has taken a backseat. I've discovered podcasts and websites to help me learn, and hopefully I'll be able to say something other than "What date is your birthday" soon.
• Garden. Not only are my house plants suffering from neglect, but my green thumb has been ignored so long it's faded to a wan-pea-soup color. Ewww. I hear sunlight is the cure.
• Travel. This list is long, and always the most difficult to fulfill. I have plans for a trip to Buenos Aires in October (and I'm looking for a travel partner). Smaller trips include (but are not limited to) road trip up or down the California coast, British Columbia, Texas, Minnesota, and Hawaii.
• Keep my house clean. Oh wait, this list should be inspiring. Dare I bog myself down with chores? The answer is yes. Having a bedroom as messy as mine is embarrassing and distracting.
• Train Oscar. Despite being the world's best dog, Oscar needs some work. He pulls on the leash, barks at dogs, and growls at anyone wearing a hat. Oh boy.
• Ride my bike more. I love going fast on my road bike, and I could use the exercise.
  

Well there it is. I hope you weren't expecting things like bungee jump, or space travel, or swim the English Channel. Those things are for people who like big rubber bands, have lots of money, or know how to swim. I am none of those, and I apologize if I disappointed you.

Birthday Dog Blog

I can't believe that Oscar's birthday has come and gone, and I didn't blog about it. I'm feeling very guilty, and if I had a tail, it would be between my legs. Sorry Oscar.

Oscar's birthday, April 15th, is an arbitrary date. We knew he was probably born in April, based on when he began losing his puppy teeth. I chose the 15th because it is smack dab in the middle of the month. Just because tax day also traditionally falls on this day does not mean we should think any less of Oscar.

On Oscar's big day we took him on a forbidden bike ride. Although Oscar is small in stature, he is the best for taking on a bike ride. He's not so big that his joints and size slow him down. He zips up and down the trail, and probably covers twice the ground his human companions bike. Seeing Oscar run would bring a smile to anyone's face. He lights up, opens his mouth and flops his tongue over his teeth, lays his ears back, and takes off, as though he were a windup car that has been waiting to be released. Running is his favorite thing to do, so of course, we were going to take him for a nice run for his birthday. The only problem is that most trails don't allow dogs, and if they do, they are supposed to be on leash. It is nearly impossible to successfully bike with your dog on leash.

But hey, you do what you can to make your loved ones happy. Oscar ran off leash. We were prepared to pay a fine. Thankfully, the day turned out well for everyone. No fine for us, and Oscar was so blissfully happy by trail's end that it made breaking the rules (dare I say the law?) very much worth it.

For dinner, Oscar dined on flank steak. He was a happy boy. He deserves it. He's a good dog.

Happy Birthday Oscar!

Thanks for Sharing

It has been suggested that I blog about both boogers and Oscar. So now I will relate how this morning I wiped an eye booger from Oscar's eye.

He was sitting on the couch. I sat next to him. His black fur gleamed in the early morning light, and he opened his mouth in a wide yawn as if to take in as much of it as he could. Suddenly he thought he heard something behind me, and he stretched his head up to see over my shoulder. It was then that I saw it; a dull blob in the corner of his eye, a blackish Oscar eye booger.

He continued to be interested in some noise behind my back, as I reached up with my thumb to his eye. He jerked his head back, too concentrated on the scene behind me to allow his owner to perform doggie hygiene on him. But I just dug in, but not too hard. It doesn't take much to get an eye booger to stick to your finger. By now, Oscar knew what I was doing and he took interest. He likes to make sure I got it all out by sniffing my fingers and licking them. That's right--Oscar eats his eye boogers.

And what was behing my back that kept him so captivated while I did my best to release him from eye booger hell? David. That's all...I mean, David!, the very interesting man on the other side of the room who had 10 minutes earlier given Oscar a brand new squeaky toy. We love David. Maybe he has more toys up his sleeve.

Battle of the Sick

I last posted about my use of sick days. And wouldn't you know it? The sick day won.

I called in sick yesterday. And I was sick. My head hurt, I woke up unrested (and we all know rest is the key to getting over anything), and the thought of dragging my unhealthy body to a work place that only provides a course two-ply tissue for repeated rubbing of my runny nose just wasn't doing it for me. So, I sent the email to work announcing they would not be graced with my presence, and I went back to bed for three more hours.

I had hopes of making the most of my sick day. I thought David and I could go look at suits for the wedding. I thought we might take Oscar for a nice walk. I thought we might replenish the supplies in our fridge. But instead I watched Emma (for the second time in two days), took a nap, registered for wedding gifts, and watched Ghost Hunters. I feel better today, but I would have stayed home again...if I had any more sick time left.

Achoo! I'm back at work today, and I've brought my own box of lotioned, vitamin E-ed, and aloed kleenex with me. Just another month and a half until I get more sick days.

Best in Show


Ok, so it was only graduation from the beginner dog obedience class, and there were only two other dogs, but my dog kicked ass! There was a relay/scavenger hunt where the owners had to take their dogs around the store finding items and performing dog tricks along the way. Oscar came cruising in ahead of all the other dogs.

I had said before that a certain other dog belonged in the intermediate class (she already knew everything we were learning), and I was worried that Oscar wouldn't have a fair chance. But lo and behold, that dog came in third place. I don't know what happened. Owner difficulties?

Anyway, Oscar's prize was a pull toy that says #1 Dog. But, not surprisingly, he seemed more interested in the thrid place prize, which was a little pumpkin that squeeks.

Good job Oscar!